I am a firm believer some people should be neutered and not allowed to procreate. I mean we do it to animals. Crazy vegans and PETA fans don’t eat animals or wear fur because it is cruel. People want to eat free range this and that. While I think their logic is a load of shit and I am all about killing and eating animals as it is the natural food chain and the only way the human race was able to survive and evolve. The fur kept them warm in winter and I don’t suppose I need to tell you what the meat did. Now if you want to employ this “do unto animals as you would have done unto you” B.S., then lets neuter dumbasses and protect society from anymore stupidity. Hell, I will even chance being taken over by tofu eating hippies to weed out the schmucks. I guess you are all dying to hear of an example of one of these people. Granted I could probably give you a bunch, but I have chosen a very simple one.
So, we will just call her Jane. Jane and I are riding down the road and I can barely stand the smell in the car. It is 50 degrees outside (and that is cold for my Southern blood) and I am having to ride with the window down. It smells like baby powder and stank. I can’t figure out why. (I should also tell you that she has no kids) Well for some reason we start discussing animals and Jane makes known that her dogs shit in her bathroom. No, I don’t mean like Mr. Jinx on Meet the Fockers. There is no Ripley’s Believe it or Not toilet flushing dog action going on here.
When they were puppies that is where they went and now they still go there. I inquire why she doesn’t just shut the door if that is the only place they go in the house and ween them off that. Let me also let you know, I hate people who get dogs that do not have the proper time to allocate to them. Puppies, while heart melting adorable, are a major pain in the ass. They have to have a REGULAR bathroom schedule. They must be trained. They must be beat for doing things like peeing and chewing. There will be accidents I know, but to justify training them to shit in the shower?????? Oh yeah did I mention they were jumping over the bathtub and shitting in the shower??? And that is where they shit to this day.
Now, it gets better...Jane says this used to be OK because it was cute puppy shit. Now it is not because it is nasty dog shit. Maybe I was born at night, but WTF is cute about about puppy shit???? Anyway apparently cute puppy shit could be clorox cleaned out of the tub and one can go on about their business. That is nasty. Nasty! nASSty. NASTY. Yeah I think you get it and are agreeing. I don’t know where you come from, but where I come from shit is shit. If it smells like shit, looks like shit, well by damn it must be shit. Now Jane is ready for them to quit. Suddenly I just feel like that smell is the smell of uncloroxed dog shit masked with baby powder. I want to puke. I am freezing. I am queasy. I want Jane neutered.
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I'm on a plane with a couple a hundred stupid, smelly people. It's been one self-absorbed, inconsiderate a$$ after another. I'd suggest they be neutered, but many of these people are childless by choice. They prefer to reproduce like a virus - infecting the minds and bodies of other people's children.
ReplyDeleteI'd really like to land safely, but if it's my time to go, I hope I take this whole plane down with me. I'm at the rear of the plane so I'll have the momentary joy of watching them go first, starting with First Class.