Soooo I am having a Tim Tebow uninsprired Biblical moment and giving Genesis a shout out. It is indeed all about you Eve. In the beginning God created man and woman. Then woman fed him an apple and fucked us all in return. I resent you more and more with each year and all I have to look forward to will just get worse. Yeah that is right now I get to bleed 3-5 days a week just so I can have a kid. I got to tell you, that was one royal fuck up. (Not to mention one a year field trips to the vag doctor. You just haven’t lived until you have thrown your legs up into those things)
Apples, while yummy have got nothing on a french fry. Had you screwed my over for some delicious fried or triple chocolate thing I might forgive you. As it is, I DON’T. In fact the only reason I eat/crave fucking french fries and gain 5-7 pounds of “water weight” is probably due to a period created by an apple. So actually strike that yummy apple sentence, because I am also beginning to resent apples as I type this.
So what brings this on dare you ask? Well I am normally sane and not the crazy girl, but I really hate when hormones betray my body. It really ruins my credibility when I am tactfully getting my point across about something that I am super angry about and I start crying. WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!!! I can’t even tactfully chew Comcast out because I break down in tears. They need a come to Jesus speech much more than you and Adam needed an Apple.
Oh yeah and menopause...And all I got to say about that is I am glad I live 3 states away from my mother.
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